At the beginning of this month I turned 26. I can’t believe that I have been walking around, living my life, making decisions everyday, going to school to further my education, trying to survive some days, and having every emotions imagined for 26 years. I want to believe that each day I have learned something new, and that I have been able to grow from every experience given to me. But I don’t know if that is necessarily true. Some days I get home, and I am laying in bed and I begin to question my life. The choices that I have made, the moments in my life where I went left instead of right, maybe I should have gone straight instead. Isn’t it crazy how one choice you make could make such a huge change in your life? What if I did something wrong in the past that will surface years in the future, and it will make my life completely different?…. I want to believe that everything happens for a reason. I have been told by my friends that I always look for the sliver lining in life. That I believe that the glass is half full. Yes, I understand that it could be cheesy to restate those ideas, but sometimes being a little cheesy puts a huge smile on my face and lifts my spirit. But how can I really believe that I have never questioned my past choices in my life…..
My life is changing. Not just oh I finally got my own apartment and I am living on my own, but I am graduating in May with an educational degree. I will be an Iowa state certified elementary teacher. It will be happening sooner than later. Two years in the making, and now I will be done with my 2nd degree in a few months. What if I am not able to get a job right after I graduate? What if by the time the fall term comes around I don’t have my classroom? There is always substitute teaching, but I want my classroom. I want to be able to decorate the walls, and plan my lessons, and get to know the other teachers in the building. To make a stable life with a career that I love. Teaching. Educating children, and helping them grow by introducing them to exciting literature, art, fascinating science experiments and reliving the past through history. Some how in my life I made the choice to go back to school, and work towards another degree to become a teacher. I mad that choice to fill out the College of Education application, to volunteer the hours, to pay the tuition fees, to write papers and take tests….and those choices came through as one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.
My career will change, it will begin to happen soon. I feel like I will have my feet planted on the ground, stable. I will begin to make big payments towards my student loans, I will be able to save for my future, and to plan more realistically for my future of a family and children. Those are all huge steps, and maybe today it is a little too much to think about. Instead I have been making small changes that I can handle. That aren’t too hard for me to figure out. So here is my quick fix…. changing my hair color. And here is to looking at each new change as something that is easy for me to figure out.